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Letters to Batman (Read 7028 times)
Bill_S.C.
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Letters to Batman
06/23/09 at 2:54pm
 
Howdy Batfolks,

   Years ago, I picked up a copy of "Bill Adler's Funniest Fan Letters To Batman," a fun read that came out in 1966. So, I thought I'd start posting them here for fun.

Dear Batman,

   Please send me your autograph or the Jokers autograph. Whichever is worth more money.

Your loyal fan,
Ricky W.
Denver, Colorado

Dear Batman,

   Your last Batman story is the greatest, but I saw a mistake in the story.  The name of the story was Batman Stands Pat. This was the mistake. How did Batman hold his breath so long?
   I tried once and I could only hold my breath for 3 seconds, but I guess that is because I'm not Batman.

Your fan,
Richard W.
NYC

Dear Batman,

   Your television program is keen. The greatest thing is the theme song.  Could you please tell me which opera your theme is from.

Yours truly,
Barbara L.
Long Beach, Calif.

Hello Batman,

   That sure is a terrific belt you wear with all those secret pockets.
   I have one question about your Bat belt. I know it can do practically anything, but does it hold your pants up?

Your fan,
David W.
Albany, N.Y.

Dear Batman,

   I like your TV program very much except for one thing. It is not bloody enough.
   Please fix it up or you will lose all your fans to Perry Mason.

Sincerely,
Mike W.
Waltham, Mass.

Dear Batman,

   Please send me all the necessary instructions for building a Batmobile in my spare time.

Your friend.
Jeff L.
New York City

P.S.
Please also send me all the parts and gas.

Dear Batman,

   Be a real pal and send me a Robin uniform. My size is as following:
Shirt - size 16
shoes - size 10 1/2
pants - size 16
I am willing to pay up to $4.00 in stamps for everything.

Your fan,
Jack P.
Clifton, N.J.

Dear Batman,

   I read that you have a photographic memory and I would like to know what kind of film you use.

Love,
Dora D.
Atlanta, Ga.






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BatfanRicky
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"All in a days crimefighting"
(Batman60s)

Londinium, England, UK
Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #1 - 06/24/09 at 5:38am
 
Haha omg this is funny!  Where did you get this book?
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Bill_S.C.
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Southern California
Re: Letters to Batman - Todays letters 6/24/09
Reply #2 - 06/24/09 at 2:44pm
 
On eBay.

Here are todays letters:

Dear Batman,

   I have 30 Batman pictures in my room and my mother says either the posters go or I go. I haven't decided yet.

Love and kisses,
Beatrice W.
Indianaoplis, Indiana

Dear Batman,

   I got a riddle for you. What will the two cowboys do when they see they're surrounded by 14,000 screaming Apaches on the warpath? Give up?

Your friend,
Larry B.
Phoenix, Arizona

P.S. If you're waiting for the answer, I gave it to you already. GIVE UP! - Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.


Dear Batman and Robin,

   I have seen your show many times and I think it is very exciting. But I have suggestions to make about some criminals for your show.
   How about having the Mailstealer, the Check-Robber, the Pen-Vanisher, Bullman, the Duck, the Ring-Napper, the Candy man, the Ink-Napper, the Blotter, Shoe-Napper, Bird Stealer, Picture-Napper and Brick-Napper.
   I will write tomorrow with some more ideas for exciting criminals you can capture.

Your fan,
Hans W.
Chicago

Dear Batman,
   I liked your story "Death Knocks Three Times" but isn't once enough?

Sincerely,
Charles W.
Brooklyn, N.Y.

Dear Batman,

   My daddy wants to watch the Virginian but I don't let him when you are on.
  Everytime he says we are not going to watch Batman I cry just a little bit and we watch Batman.
   If any Batman fans have trouble with their fathers tell them to try crying. It always works.

Love,
Susan P.
Boston, Mass.

Hey Batman ---

   Why do you need Robin? Take me instead! You'll like me. Enclosed is my picture. If you want, I can be there a week from Tuesday.  If not please send back the picture. I want to send it to Superman.

Love,
Mike G.
Dubuque, Iowa

Dear Batman,

   Since you came on television I've been a big fan of yours. Could you please answer one question though?  How do you and Robin get on your uniforms so fast after sliding down the batpoles?  On the way down you're both in regular clothes and a second later you're fully costumed. This is some trick.  Can you tell me how you do it? It takes me an hour just getting my pajamas on.

Martin S.
Lexington, Kentucky

Dear Batman,

   I hate crime just like you and fight it whenever I can.  In my school I'm the monitor and if I see somebody jaywalk on the street I holler at them, "Go back!  Go back!" Maybe you can tell me other ways I can continue my fight against crime.

Your pal,
Roger V.
Wilmington, Delaware

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perilicious
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Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #3 - 06/25/09 at 1:21am
 
Priceless. Hey Bill does it give the ages of the letter writers in that book?
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"There's never enough for two."
 
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Bill_S.C.
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Todays letters 6/25/09
Reply #4 - 06/25/09 at 2:58pm
 
perilicious wrote on 06/25/09 at 1:21am:
Priceless. Hey Bill does it give the ages of the letter writers in that book?


No ages so far, just names and locations.

Here are todays letters:

Dear Batman,

   I love you, love you, love you. You're so big and strong and handsome. I never saw such a beautiful  looking he-man. Honestly, when you flex those muscles I could die. So can you blame me for falling in love with you? And, Batman it's really love. It's not just a physical attraction I feel.

Marcia L.
Bayside, Long Island

Dear Batman,

   Of all your opponents I like the Riddler best.  He's very clever and he gives you a chance to be even cleverer when you figure out his nutty riddles. Besides, he's also very funny, and you can use a good laugh now and then in you somber business of crime-fighting.

Barry L.
Utica, New York

Dear Batman,

   Could I please have the number of your Bat Phone?  I promise I won't call you---only if it's very important.  I'm enclosing my number.  You can call me anytime. Even if it's not important.

Love,
Lois D.
Cleveland, Ohio

Dear Batman,

   My name is Gladys Pearl. I enjoyed "The Strange Death of Batman" very much.  And I now would like to give you an idea for your next Batman comic.  Have all the super heros go against Batman and Robin and have a surprise ending like this: Have all the badmen capture the Justice League and then dress up the Justice League to overcome Batman and Robin, Batman and Robin don't know what's going on with their friends because they're all turning against the law and Batman and Robin. So they finally started shooting at Superman and some of the others but when they shot they died.  And then they found out what was going on and captured the others and made them tell where the real Justice League was. And they got the real Justice League back and everything turned out all right. I think a good name for this story is Batman overcomes the false Justice League. You can have this story for nothing.

Your fan,
Gladys Pearl
Madison, Wisc.

Dear Batman,

   In some of your recent issues of Detective Comics your letter department has published letters that say that Batman is beginning to get fat and awkward. This idea is outrageous. Never have I heard such an untrue statement.  Batman is still and will continue to be a perfect physical specimen and is in no way flabby or awkward.
   I don't think that you should publish letters that say Batman is flabby.  It is an insult to all his loyal fans.

Rita B.
Buffalo, New York

Dear Batman,

  I need the Bat Code. I wrote you a letter in Bat Code but I can't figure out what I wrote.

Love
Dick W.
Goshen, Ind.

Dear Batman,

   I think Robin is a living doll.  Tell me--what is he really like?  What does he want to be when he grows up? What does he always look for in a girl? What is it like on a date with him? I would write Robin myself but I don't want him to think that I'm nosey.

Claire T.
Salt Lake City, Utah

Dear Batman,

   Poow! Bahm! Zoow! Those words are music to my ears.  They are the most beautiful words in the English language except for cool, swinger and hipster.

Forever,
Denise W.
NYC

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Bill_S.C.
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Todays letters 06/26/09
Reply #5 - 06/26/09 at 2:29pm
 
Dear Batman,

   No offense to Superman, Flash or others but I think that Batman is the best of all because a normal person such as me could train hard enough to be like you, Batman.
   Superman comes from a different planet which makes his body different.
   Please don't tell Superman that I wrote this letter.

Yeh Batman!
Jon B.
Rockville, Maryland

Dear Batman,

   Have you ever considered finding a Bat Girl and teaming up?  Well, I'd like to apply for the job.  I'm enclosing a snapshot of me taken eight months ago.  Don't mind the braces and the glasses as I don't have to wear them now.  Also, to look at me you may not think I make a nice appearance but that shouldn't bother you either.  As Bat Girl I'd be wearing a mask, wouldn't I?

Sheila F.
Peoria, Illinois


Dear Batman,

   I want to be just like Robin. I imitate him all the time.  I say "Holy Succotash" and "Golly Gee" and lots of things like that.  They call me Boy Wonder of my school.  Do you think I should change my name to Dick Grayson?  If you do, maybe I can get my father to change his name to Bruce Wayne.

Your pal,
Frank C.
New Canaan, Conn.

Dear Batman,

   I'll bet you have the best punch in the world.  I can tell because I have the best punch in my class and I'm a girl.

Your admirer,
Maggie G.
Gainesville, Georgia

Dear Batman,

   This is not a fan letter from some kid.  I happen to be a mature sensible adult who is nuts about you and the Beatles.

Sincerely,
Duane J.
Chicago, Illinois


Dear Batman,

   Could you please get me the autographs of the Joker, the Penguin or Mr. Freeze.
   I have the autographs of Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays, and lots of baseball players, but no autographs of crooks.

Your fan,
Neal P.
Denver, Colorado

Dear Batman,

   I don't know how you're able to walk along the streets of Gotham City without people bothering you.  I mean, I can't understand why people don't flip when they see you. I know I would if you ever came walking down my street in Brooklyn.

Rodger W.
Brooklyn, New York


Darling Batman,

   Since you came on television I'm in love with you, I don't think I'll ever love anybody else again.  If I could just meet you in person, it would last me a whole lifetime.  And I'd never ask for anything else, I promise.  Just tell me where and when and I'll be there.  I know you're busy, Batman, so if you can't make it, could you please send Robin?

Jane M.
Roslyn, Long Island




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The reason your brain sits above your mouth, is because you should think before you speak.
 
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Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #6 - 06/26/09 at 6:05pm
 
These letters are too much!!!   Smiley
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Batman6
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Burt Ward!

Chesterton, Indiana
Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #7 - 06/27/09 at 12:23am
 
These letters are awesome. Thanks for sharing. Cheesy

Bobbi Smiley
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January 12, 1966: A date that will live in infamy! At least for us devoted 1966 Batman fans.
 
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Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #8 - 06/27/09 at 8:10pm
 
I especially like the one about the bat changer.  Even to this day we still can't figure out how it works Wink
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Bill_S.C.
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I Love The 1966 Batman!
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Southern California
Todays letters 06/27/09
Reply #9 - 06/27/09 at 8:36pm
 
I'm glad that you folks are enjoying the letters.

Here are todays letters.

Dear Batman, baby,

   I've seen you with your mask on and I've seen you with your mask off and if I were you sweetheart---I'd keep that mask off.

Love and kisses,
A Fan
N.Y.C.


Dear Batman,

   How do you keep your Aunt Harriet from finding out
you're really Bruce Wayne?  I have an Aunt who lives with us too, and I can't fool her.  She knows everything that's going on.  I can't do anything without her knowing about it. Please tell me your secret, as I did something last night I don't want Auntie to find out about.

A fan,
Susan
Racine, Wisconsin


Dear Batman,

   I think your Batmobile is super.  Where can I get one?  Hertz or Avis?

Sincerely,
Jack M.
Cleveland, Ohio


Dear Batman,

   If I were you I wouldn't trust your butler, Alfred.  Wise up Batman.  Any fool knows that in 7 out of 10 crimes the butler did it.

Sincerely,

Jerry W.
Chicago, Ill.


Dear Batman,

   If you think the cops in Gotham City are creeps you ought to spend a week in this town.
   The last big time crook the police caught here was a guy with an overdue parking ticket.

Help!
Maxwell L.
Muncie, Indiana


Dear Batman,

   Why did you have to capture the Joker and put him behind bars?
   It was a breath of real fresh air to have at least one criminal around with a sense of humor.
   Most crooks are no fun at all!

Respectfully,
Sgt. Lewis Brooks
San Francisco Police Dept.

Dear Batman,

   We have just formed a Batman Fan Club.
   So far, we only have two members, but we expect plenty of new members soon because a lot of kids are getting sick and tired of the Lone Ranger Fan Club and when the join our fan club they will bring their Lone Ranger mask with them.

A loyal fan,
Jeffrey J.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Dear Robin,

   Why don't you leave that square Batman and join up with Superman.  There's a real man.
   Think it over Robin. Batman may be a nice guy, but did you ever see Batman fly through the sky?

Your friend,
Jack W.
Milwaukee, Wis.


   
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The reason your brain sits above your mouth, is because you should think before you speak.
 
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JL
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Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #10 - 06/27/09 at 10:26pm
 
Priceless...thanks so much for sharing, many laugh out loud moments for sure!
Grin
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aka...Johnny L. Hamm
 
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Bill_S.C.
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I Love The 1966 Batman!
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Southern California
Todays letters 06/28/09
Reply #11 - 06/28/09 at 7:46pm
 
Dear Batman,

   How come you don't smoke, drink, or go out with women?
   You are sure setting a rotten example for Robin.

Sincerely,
Ralph W.
Anderson, Indiana

Dear Batman,

   I must admit that it is very dramatic the way you and Robin slide down the pole to get to your Batmobile in the basement.
   Maybe, it's none of my business, but don't you think that for another couple of dollars you could afford to put in an elevator.

Sincerely,
Gloria G.
Baltimore, Md.


Dear Batman,

   You are so tall and handsome and brave and I would give anything to have a date with you just once.
   Frankly, the last time I ever went out with anyone who wore a mask was on Halloween six years ago.

Sincerely,
Marsha W.
Newark, N.J.


Dear Batman,

   This may sound like a stupid question, but when you put on your mask which practically covers your whole face, how are you able to blow your nose?

A curious fan,
Michael J.
Brooklyn, N.Y.

Dear Batman,

   I would like to have the private number of your Batphone so I can call you if I have any trouble.
   I have three big brothers and I always have lots of troubles.

Your friend,
Alex M. -- Age 8
Houston, Texas


Dear Sir,

   Batman is the silliest, stupidest show on television and I love every minute of it.

Yours truly,
Ricky W.
Chicago, Ill.

Dear Batman,

   Excuse me for saying so but I have seen you on television and I think you are getting a slight pot belly.
   You better watch out or you may lose all your fans. 
   People with pot bellys aren't ver popular.

Sincerely,
Jeffrey H.
Reading, Pa.

Dear Batman,

   If you get into any real trouble why don't you call James Bond.
   I don't have his phone number, but you could look it up in the yellow pages under detectives.

Yours truly,
Alfred W.
Boston, Mass.

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Chuck
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Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #12 - 06/29/09 at 6:20pm
 
These are absolutely Laugh Out Loud Funny!

You can read the innocence in their words.

I especially love the ones from dreamy starry eyed girls.
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I Love The 1966 Batman!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Re: Letters to Batman
Reply #13 - 06/29/09 at 8:24pm
 
Heh.....Wow,  Those are really funny!   Grin

Just goes to show of how the times were back in the 60's, and to really see the innocence of the kids too!  Smiley

Thanks for sharing  all of those letter's with us!  Wink
~L.
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Bill_S.C.
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Southern California
Todays letters 06/29/09
Reply #14 - 06/29/09 at 11:11pm
 
I agree, they're fun letters to read. Too bad there wasn't a sequel. I wonder how many folks received replys.

Dear Batman,

   I like to watch the Batman Show.  The  best one I think is Batman Vs. F.F. (False Face).  But why do you have girls in 'em?  I like it when Blaze (the girl helper of F.F) hugs Robin and out comes the knockout gas.  Well, I'm a great fan of Batman and Robin.

Richard L.
New Orleans, Louisiana

Dear Batman,

   BATMAN is my favorite comic-book hero.  I like him because he has no super powers.  Because he has no super powers he has a utility belt which I think is a WONDERFUL! idea as everything else in BATMAN & DETECTIVE. Also WORLD'S FINEST.  Lots of times I think there could be some pockets that could be filled with some useful things such as:
1.  A small helium balloon that could be compressed   so it could fit into one of his pockets in his utility belt.  It could be opened at the yank of a cord.
2.  He could have a special light in or on his buckle that could blind people temporarily.  He could use it to blind his victims while he's fighting with them.
   He and ROBIN could both have a BAT-ring that they could communicate with if they can't reach their utility belts.
   I just thought you'd like to know my suggestions.

James W.
Orlando, Florida.

Dear Batman,

   Batman on television is a smash! (Which anyone would expect).  But having a model and a book is Wowee!  Batman 179 March was terrific! Clay Pigeon for a killer had me hanging over a cliff.  On page 1 of that story the armed truck was turned over I don't know  how Iago and his two playmates did it but it wasn't easy.  But he got his when Batman messed up his gang.  The other story the Riddlerless Robberies of the Riddler was terrific too.  When the Riddler took those century old coins without giving Batman any riddles that I could not believe my eyes. (Repeat) But he was very wacky the second time to think that he didn't give away any riddles.  That whole book was great!

Harry L.
Canton, Ohio


Dear Batman,

Why don't you make a story with some of the TV crooks in it. Like the Riddler.  I have a good plot.  The Riddler kidnaps an atomic scientist and forces him to make an A-bomb to blow up Gotham City unless he receives ten million dollars within twenty-four hours.

Yours truly,
Peter T.
St. Petersburgh, Florida

Dear Batman and Boy Wonder,

   My brother and I are thrilled to see your shows.  Each Wednesday after the show is half finished, I just cannot wait till the next day to see what happens.  My brother always thinks he knows that you and Boy Wonder will always get out of trouble because good people always win.  We have been dreaming that we can get pictures of you. Hope our dream comes true.

Your fans,
Diane A. &
Larry A.
Sacramento, Calif.

Dear Batman,

   I would give anything to have you call me on your Batphone. 
   I live all alone and I am widow.
   Nobody ever calls me except the wrong number.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Wilma M. Greenville, S.C.

Dear Batman,

   How did you get the name Batman?
   Were you baptized with the name Batman?  I would like to change my name to Batman but my mother isn't too keen about the idea. She likes my name.
   My name is Herman.

Your fan,
Herman Z.
Anderson, Indiana

Dear Batman,

   Here are the names of the big crooks in the Bronx.  Get them!

1) Jerry Feldman
2) Mike Harris
3) Stanley Wolf
4) David Paris
5) Paul Hyman
They are all in my class.

Your friend,
Howard W.
Bronx, N.Y.



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