Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

General goings on in the 1966 Batman World

Moderators: Scott Sebring, Ben Bentley

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Scott Sebring
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by Scott Sebring »

I think the general story, pace, dialogue and action definitely felt very much within the world of the show. I do have a couple critiques though, regretfully, but you asked for feedback.

1) The main villain Cactus Kleinschmidt reads too much like Shame with a Mister Freeze accent. I like the idea of a European villain making their way into Gotham and the idea of the casino but the moment one starts wearing cowboy hats and is suppose to be rooten tooten, we become a Shame knockoff. I wonder if there is another angle to portray this person as a faux aristocrat like a count or some other type not already explored yet in the series.

2) Aunt Harriet's line "Isn’t this exciting, Alfred? An old time wild west duel, just like in the movies. I wonder why Bruce and Dick aren’t here." I find out of character as I think any form of real violence (as opposed to movie or staged) whether nostalgic or quaint would still read as horrible to her sensitive disposition. My two cents.

3) Batman moments seem rushed and a little thin in comparison to the time taken with gambling moments with whoever was at the table.

Don't get me wrong, very cool effort and execution with the direction you went. But these were the parts that made it feel off enough for me to state so.

Still looking forward to reading more.

As for Sea Hag. Personally, I don't have the image handy and quite honestly have ZERO interest in a one off trading card character that even takes its name from a Popeye character to pursue this. To each their own. Just saying... ;)
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elmrgraham
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by elmrgraham »

Ok Scott fair enough.However,the card is somewhere on the board.Maybe a Batman Adventure can be written by Gorshin-Romero featuring The Sea Hag as a Guest Villainess.Maybe you can name her Scuba Henchwomen Sea-Nymph and Tsuami.She can have muscled Scuba Frogmen working for her too.I am looking forward to reading Part 2 of Cactus Kleinschmidt,s Cosmic Casino."Thank You.
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TBolt
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by TBolt »

chrisbcritter wrote:Hmm. Now who vould haff - excuse me - would have played this villain in 1966-68? Maybe Horst Buchholz (from The Magnificent Seven) or Hardy Kruger? At that time Klaus Kinski was beginning to make a name for himself as well...

You'd probably have to rename Goldfinger since those kind of name references were always altered; something like Goldthumbs?
I keep thinking Kenneth Mars, probably cause I watched Young Frankenstein lately. I do agree with Scott's point about another western dressed character getting compared to Shame. Maybe shifting him to a classic European looking count complete with monocle would work. As for Sea Hag getting some airtime, maybe it would lead to Batman calling in Aquaman, played by Lloyd Bridges, for an assist? That would sure help beef up a story with a pretty weak undeveloped villainess.
To the Bat-Elephant!!
elmrgraham
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by elmrgraham »

Batman and Robin have Scuba Gear and their usual wits to handle The Sea Hag.They do not need any help.
Model Builder
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by Model Builder »

Chief O’Hara
Saints presarve us, Caped Crusader. What’s a root’n toot’n cowboy doing coming out of Garmany?

Batman
West…Germany, Chief O’Hara.

I can just imagine this exchange of dialogue taking place in an episode of the 1966 Batman. I could actually hear Adam West saying "West . . . Germany, Chief O'Hara." in my head.

In fact, I can imagine the entire fanfic being an actual episode of "Batman." The over-the-top Cactus Kleinschmidt would fit right in with the classic 1966 "Batman" and Arnold Schwarzenegger (circa. 1966,) would be perfect for the part.

I am looking forward to more.
elmrgraham
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by elmrgraham »

As I said before,me too.
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epaddon
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by epaddon »

Arnold was only 19 in 1966 though and I don't think would have been quite so formidable then. :)

Gorshin, as one who's also written fanfic over the years too, congratulations for bringing your concept to fruition and sharing it with us!
Gorshin Romero
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by Gorshin Romero »

Scott Sebring: I appreciate all of your comments, including the criticism. I do wish to respond.

1. I acknowledge the Shame and Mr. Freeze connections. In fact, you probably noticed my reference to him when Robin asks "Have you no shame?" and Cactus Kleinschmidt says "He's not coming back." This is a veiled reference to "Come back, Shame, Come back" and of course Schwarzenegger's infamous quote: "I'll be back." The reason I chose the wild west villain was because I felt it would be especially ridiculous for Schwarzenegger or Lundgren to be playing such a character, but either one could do it with the over the top performance required by most of the Bat Villains on the series. And of course, Model Builder hit it right on the head: the joke of Batman saying "WEST...Germany, Chief O'Hara" works best when dealing with a wild west outlaw who happens to be from Germany.

2. You're totally right about this one. I thought it would be funny if Aunt Harriet said something silly like this. Perhaps I should have had her believing that this was not real and just another part of the casino's entertainment.

3. I'll take that one too. Perhaps I could have put an extra couple of scenes in there for Batman, maybe with Rouletta or one of the other henchmen.

I appreciate all comments; like I said, this is how I learn to improve my writing. That said, I'm pleased to hear that you're interested in reading the conclusion, which is still in the works. If anybody else is interested, I do have some other ideas as well, but I wish to finish this one up first. Again, Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.
Gorshin Romero
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by Gorshin Romero »

epaddon: Thank you so much. Have you written Batman 66 fanfiction?
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epaddon
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by epaddon »

Yes, I have several stories at this site. Several other board members also have stories here too.

http://www.batgirlbat-trap.com/stories18.html

Mine are in "Seasons 13, 14 and 15" and are numbers 341-342; 349-350; 357-358; 371-372 and 375-378. I also have a couple others that I've been trying to find an outlet for (they don't fit into the continuum of this site) and may find myself sharing here in the not too distant future.

I've used your "teleplay" format approach as well (though not always) and found it tends to be easier for capturing the purest sound of the series.

Looking forward to your second part!
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TBolt
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by TBolt »

elmrgraham wrote:Batman and Robin have Scuba Gear and their usual wits to handle The Sea Hag.They do not need any help.
Well, they needed help with Gumm. I was thinking along the lines of the Green Hornet episodes, legend has it that ABC was trying to encourage more guest heroes, and the Sea Hag seems like an easy way to tie in to the King of the Seas.
To the Bat-Elephant!!
elmrgraham
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Re: Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino

Post by elmrgraham »

I forgot about Colonel Gumm.Excellent point TBolt.
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