Fanfic: Batgirl vs Pussycat

[Bat-Tiger]

This is part of a fanfic I've had bumping around in my head. If my fellow Batfans enjoy it, I'll write more.


Suddenly it dawned on her, the steel walls, the odd pattern on the floor, the thin pipe that ran the length of the wall behind her. It was Catwoman's old Pink Sandbox lair. Batgirl swallowed hard, she knew what was going to come next.

Quickly she sprang to her feet and began searching for a way out. But the walls fit together almost seamlessly. No odd looking secret panel stood out, no signs of a hidden switch, not even the part of the wall that Batman and Robin mentioned spun them into this trap before. No way out except that skylight in the ceiling. She searched for her batarang, then the panel covering the skylight moved, revealing Pussycat smiling innocently at her.

"Hello Batgirl, and welcome to my hideout. Too bad I can't let you leave." She giggled playfully, it reminded Batgirl of a cat playing with a mouse. Or a bat in this case.

"Give it up Pussycat, as soon as I get out of here, I'm taking you in." Batgirl said confidently, she thought it wise to continue the banter and buy some time to look for a way to escape.

"Don't bother with any of your little bat gadgets, it would take a bomb to get you out of there. You're not leaving until I let you. Which is never." Pussycat stretched, and looked down at Batgirl. "I can't have you disrupting my plans now can I? I'm on the verge of being a superstar. All the men in Gotham are under my musical spell, thanks to me hiring Siren as a back up singer."

"If you give up now, I promise to mention you cooperated, and I'll see to it personally that you get the help you need. I know that feline felon is responsible for making you a criminal." Batgirl said, trying to appeal to her sensibly.

Now Pussycat's visage changed, she turned from playful to angry. "Don't you dare speak ill of Catwoman! Without her I would have never made it this far. She funded my records, taught me how to be a criminal, and even gave me her old lair." The way she said that last sentence sent a chill up Batgirl's spine. Not even Catwoman sounded that threatening.

"Its a pity my songs don't work on women, or you would be dancing along to the same tune as all the men in Gotham. I guess you need a little more motivation..." Pussycat grinned again, and turned a dial.

Immediately the floor beneath Batgirl began to warm, within seconds, it was hot.

"Ow!" Batgirl shouted, and lifted her foot. "Ow, ow, hot..." she began to hop from one foot to the other while searching the room frantically for a way to escape.

Pussycat called two of her henchwomen over to see Batgirl's predicament.

[elmrgraham]

Excellent Batman Fan-Fic.Keep it up.Purrfect.

[elmrgraham]

Correction:Batgirl Fan-Fic.

[Bat-Tiger]

Thank you for the feedback, anyone else?

[High C]

I like your enthusiasm for your characters, but there are a couple things that could be improved upon.

First, the trap is a carbon copy of something we saw on the show, only with Batman, Robin and Catwoman subbed out for Batgirl and Pussycat. There would be more potential here, IMO, if you could some up with a new trap, hideout, etc.

My other problem is that both Catwoman and The Siren are serious villainesses. Why would they donate money (Catwoman) and unique vocal abilities (Siren) to help out someone else? Supervillainesses aren't particularly known for their generosity.

For this story to take off, I believe you need to somehow establish how Pussycat branched out on her own. It would make more sense that she 1. had a falling-out with Catwoman and 2. somehow kidnapped Siren and switched singing voices with her (via some diabolical machine) or maybe got Siren to train her vocally for a large fee.

[elmrgraham]

Excellent points High C.

[Bat-Tiger]

I like your enthusiasm for your characters, but there are a couple things that could be improved upon.

First, the trap is a carbon copy of something we saw on the show, only with Batman, Robin and Catwoman subbed out for Batgirl and Pussycat. There would be more potential here, IMO, if you could some up with a new trap, hideout, etc.

My other problem is that both Catwoman and The Siren are serious villainesses. Why would they donate money (Catwoman) and unique vocal abilities (Siren) to help out someone else? Supervillainesses aren't particularly known for their generosity.

For this story to take off, I believe you need to somehow establish how Pussycat branched out on her own. It would make more sense that she 1. had a falling-out with Catwoman and 2. somehow kidnapped Siren and switched singing voices with her (via some diabolical machine) or maybe got Siren to train her vocally for a large fee.

I started thinking of this after I made a post in another thread about how villains must spend so much on their hideouts only to use them once.

I'm considering doing a full story if there is enough interest. This was just a sample.

I'd also like to see how this particular trap could be escaped without just being let out and into another trap.

Thank you for the feedback citizens.

[High C]

I realize it's a vignette and not a full story, but you didn't address my concerns about Siren. Do you really believe she'd play second banana to a lowly henchmoll unless forced to, by brainwashing or some other method?

No, it would not happen. Period. End of story.

This needs to be explained somehow for the purposes of credibility if you are going forward with the plot point of Siren 'working for' Pussycat.

You asked for feedback and I provided it, while trying to give constructive criticism.

[Bat-Tiger]

Thanks for the feedback, perhaps I'll edit that out.

[Mr. Deathtrap]

Citizens,

I think the small scene we have shows some potential and I'd love to see more.

Pussycat is certainly in a commanding position. She has somehow enthralled the men of Gotham City and managed to enslave the Siren and capture Batgirl.

Seeing how these evil events transpired would be a treat for readers, as well as, of course, what happens after this climactic and cataclysmic moment.

Mr. Deathtrap

[Bat-Tiger]

Thank you for the feedback, I'll definitely write more.

[Jaws63]

Seeing how these evil events transpired would be a treat for readers, as well as, of course, what happens after this climactic and cataclysmic moment.Mr. Deathtrap

I gotta disagree. After reading this I couldn't help but Imagine this as a like a promo spot. The lines were so simple I could actually picture Yvonne Craig and Leslie Gore in the scene. My friendly advice to you is you should stick with snippets rather than a full story, with the deathtrap as your center piece....let your readers guess how Batgirl gets out of the trap, I think you'll get more responses this way.

I think you have a great Imagination and talent for fanfic. It's my opinion it seems very politically incorrect to critique ones fanfic. I too dabble in writing and I consider myself to be a "fair" writer, my grammer, spelling, and punctuation's aren't always what there suppose to be(I think it would be wrong for any of us to critique that)....but I've been told I too have a good imagination for telling story. The reason I bring this up is I seem to remember in the old forum we had thread where we talked at great deal about the Batgirl pilot. I walked way from this 15 minute promo thinking that this definitely belongs in a separate universe, because B&R meet up with Batgirl and it's clearly their first encounter with her.....yet the season 3 opener, again you get the feeling they meet for the first time. Now one could argue, B&R were just surprised to see her again. Also there was a secret entrance in the library set up for Barbera's transformation into Batgirl. Now it's fun to add are thoughts on why? in the actual series, that secret room is never used.

I guess what I'm saying is that if your intention is to give us that 66 essence in your fanfic, you need no backstory, you don't half to have continuity, and by all means re-use old sets and props LOL

keep up the good work.

[Gorshin Romero]

I applaud anyone's efforts to write fan fiction. That said, yes I would prefer an actual intro to the character as well as an original deathtrap. Hi C is correct in pointing out that Catwoman put our heroes into something similar on the show. I don't object to bringing up jokes or incidents from the show if the writer can put a new and original spin or joke to it, but with all due respect I didn't see that in the above. Nonetheless, I would enjoy seeing some more writing from you.

[Bat-Tiger]

Greetings fellow Batfans! I'm just about ready to post my first Batfic. I've ironed out a few bumps I had in the teaser snippet, and its ready to go. I hope you enjoy it.

Stay tuned! /|\^..^/|\