Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

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bat-rss
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Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by bat-rss » Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:43 am

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Hi all! We're back with another script to discuss for a future TO THE BATPOLES podcast episode. It's the first draft of Lorenzo Semple's "The Penguin's Nest"!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kj9hix1tc0zf9 ... t.pdf?dl=0

Will probably record this discussion in late April or early May. Will advise when we have a date set. Comment away!

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batbelfry
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by batbelfry » Sun Apr 01, 2018 10:22 am

Thanks so much for sharing these, I love reading them!!

Someone be sure and tell me the difference between the "Bat blip" and the "Bat spin". :D

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bat-rss
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by bat-rss » Thu Apr 12, 2018 2:07 am

Any thoughts on this? We'll be recording our discussion of this script in a couple weeks. Please post thoughts (or email to batpoles at deconstructingcomics dot com) by April 26, and we may read to them on the show.

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gothosmansion
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by gothosmansion » Sun Apr 15, 2018 8:43 am

You probably already knew this, but the episode was based on a comic book story in Batman 36. I have the archive that reprints it. I don't know why it was left out of the Batman TV stories trade.

http://www.mikesamazingworld.com/mikes/ ... oryid=7434

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High C
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by High C » Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:48 am

gothosmansion wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 8:43 am
You probably already knew this, but the episode was based on a comic book story in Batman 36. I have the archive that reprints it. I don't know why it was left out of the Batman TV stories trade.

http://www.mikesamazingworld.com/mikes/ ... oryid=7434
Great find! I didn't know that.

As for the script itself, this isn't the best of Semple's creations. Quite frankly, Batman looks like an idiot for putting Alfred in danger like he does, placing him WITHOUT A DISGUISE in a situation with a villain who once kidnapped and brainwashed him. (Although of course, that continuity is used here and then ignored in Hoffman's terrible script for the Batgirl debut.)

And some of Semple's stuff seems like he was possessed by Stanley Ralph Ross, the moll talks like one of Ross' creations, even before Grace Gaynor gives her that annoying voice, and the bad pun on Hamilton Burger from Perry Mason as the DA is weak sauce and very Ross Borscht Beltian.

Plus, and this has nothing to do with the script itself, but by being pushed back so far, all the gunplay seems off. By the time the show aired, other than Ma Parker and Shame, Batman kinda had moved past 'normal' firearms and into the realm of time machines and love darts and Egghead's thought transferometer or whatever the heck they called it.
'I thought Siren was perfect for Joan.'--Stanley Ralph Ross, writer of 'The Wail of the Siren'

My hobbies include gazing at the Siren and doing her bidding, evil or otherwise.

'She had a devastating, hypnotic effect on all the men.'--A schoolmate describing Joan Collins at age 17

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Dr. Shimel
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by Dr. Shimel » Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:21 pm

High C wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:48 am
As for the script itself, this isn't the best of Semple's creations. Quite frankly, Batman looks like an idiot for putting Alfred in danger like he does, placing him WITHOUT A DISGUISE in a situation with a villain who once kidnapped and brainwashed him. (Although of course, that continuity is used here and then ignored in Hoffman's terrible script for the Batgirl debut.
Of course, Aunt Harriet is terrorized during the Penguin home invasion--yet then has to ask Batman who "Mr. Penguin" is when she and her fellow blue hairs rail against indecency in the Penguin/Marsha teamup.

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High C
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by High C » Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:47 pm

Dr. Shimel wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:21 pm
High C wrote:
Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:48 am
As for the script itself, this isn't the best of Semple's creations. Quite frankly, Batman looks like an idiot for putting Alfred in danger like he does, placing him WITHOUT A DISGUISE in a situation with a villain who once kidnapped and brainwashed him. (Although of course, that continuity is used here and then ignored in Hoffman's terrible script for the Batgirl debut.
Of course, Aunt Harriet is terrorized during the Penguin home invasion--yet then has to ask Batman who "Mr. Penguin" is when she and her fellow blue hairs rail against indecency in the Penguin/Marsha teamup.
Exactly. And in Marsha's solo outing, also penned by Sherman, Batman talks about his 'sacred vow' of not allowing strangers in the Batcave when he already had Gordon, two molls and Penguin there.

Sherman's lack of continuity isn't surprising, though, when one considers Charles Hoffman's 'editing' seemed to consist of correcting typos and checking for curse words.
'I thought Siren was perfect for Joan.'--Stanley Ralph Ross, writer of 'The Wail of the Siren'

My hobbies include gazing at the Siren and doing her bidding, evil or otherwise.

'She had a devastating, hypnotic effect on all the men.'--A schoolmate describing Joan Collins at age 17

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BATWINGED HORNET
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by BATWINGED HORNET » Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:40 am

High C wrote:
Wed Apr 18, 2018 3:47 pm
Exactly. And in Marsha's solo outing, also penned by Sherman, Batman talks about his 'sacred vow' of not allowing strangers in the Batcave when he already had Gordon, two molls and Penguin there.
Was it so difficult to just screen older episodes to prevent mistakes of that magnitude? Did Greenway just rubber stamp scripts not caring about the idea that some viewers would say, "That's wrong!" about Batman claiming he will not let anyone in the Batcave?


The script--like the episode--was somewhat saved by a couple of elements: Chickadee being the most violent moll of the series--and enjoying it. In fact, actress Grace Gaynor's faux "Neww Yawk" accent and her joy at being a violent criminal seems like the inspiration for animated versions of Harley Quinn, especially the one from the Warner Brothers DC cartoons of the 1990s.

The other element was the finale of part one; instead of some outlandish scheme and/or contraption, the death trap was as close to a realistic set up as we would ever see in the series. The basic set up was there in the script, but the episode made the right choice to set the trap at the electrified outdoor pool with the villains perched on the rooftop with the mounted machine gun. Although Dozier's closing narration was slightly changed from the scripted version, the threat and urgency is still there, making it one of the series' most effective, serial-esque cliffhangers.

Oh, there's also the nice and all too rate touch of Burt Ward actually delivering a karate kick to Cordy Blue during the jail fight.

Too bad the rest of the script--and episode was not as strong.
Beneath Wayne Manor

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Dr. Shimel
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Re: Script: THE PENGUIN'S NEST, first draft

Post by Dr. Shimel » Fri Apr 20, 2018 3:12 pm

BATWINGED HORNET wrote:
Thu Apr 19, 2018 8:40 am
Was it so difficult to just screen older episodes to prevent mistakes of that magnitude? Did Greenway just rubber stamp scripts not caring about the idea that some viewers would say, "That's wrong!" about Batman claiming he will not let anyone in the Batcave?
Considering Dozier's motto was seemingly, "Just get to 100 (episodes)," apathy about quality had likely taken hold.

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