Gilligan: Gee, two millionaires on one island. This is more exciting than that time we were trapped in the cave with that big spider.
Bruce: Yes, eh...you say there's a cave on the island? [knowing look to Dick]
Professor: Yes, it's on the north side of the island, hidden from view. You could walk right past it and never know it's there.
[Dick punches hand into fist excitedly]
Bruce, quietly: Steady, chum.
Professor: It's a primary, or lava-formed cave, with evidence of antediluvian marine erosion; and while there is some limestone elements throughout, its composition is largely igneous in nature.
Gilligan: Not only that, but it's made of rock.
Bruce: Well, Dick, given the circumstances, I think while we're...ahem...stranded here, this would be an excellent opportunity for you to perhaps study these...rock formations for your science class and for us to do...a little spelunking.
Dick: Gosh, yes, Bruce.
Gilligan: Oh boy, spelunking! I love spelunking! All day long I dream of spelunking. Skipper?
Skipper: Yes, Gilligan?
Gilligan: What’s spelunking?
Skipper [exasperated]: Why, it’s the exploration of caves, Gilligan! [pleasantly] Eh, isn’t that right, Mr. Wayne?
Bruce: Precisely...Skipper. And Gilligan, we’d love to have you join us.
Dick: We would?
Bruce: Heh, ahem, yes, of course...Dick...After all, having a fellow Certified Advanced Spelunker First Class from the American Organization of Professional Cave Exploration along will be most interesting.
Dick, realization dawning, chuckling: Golly, yes!
Bruce: We can share cave stories as we explore. I’m interested to hear your thoughts...Gilligan, on that treacherous initial descent into Lechuguilla Cave, in Carlsbad Caverns. The first few times we tackled it, we—
Gilligan: —Oh, you see, that’s the thing...
Gilligan: Well, as it turns out...
Skipper: Spit it out, Gilligan.
Mrs. Howell: Oh, can’t you see? The poor boy never qualified as an Advanced, what did you call it?
Howell: Spelunker, Lovey. Yes, the name is a bit grotesque sounding. A bit uncouth, to be sure.
Professor: Is that true, Gilligan?
Gilligan: Well, it’s not that I never qualified as an Certified Advanced Spelunker First Class! ...I never heard of one! But I did send a bunch of boxtops to the Captain Video program, so I am a Space Cadet First Class!
Skipper: You certainly are!
Bruce, slightest trace of impatience, but pleasantly: Well, I guess we’ll just have to strike out on our own. All right Dick, let’s go...explore this cave. And if you see Batman and Robin, folks, please tell them we’re okay.
Skipper: Are you certain they washed up with you, Mr. Wayne? We haven’t seen them anywhere.
Bruce: Oh, I’m sure they’re around...somewhere.
Dick: You’re bound to bump into them soon!
Ginger, cooing: Ooh, and I’d have remembered seeing Batman. So big, and rugged...and strong.
Maryanne, giggling: I always thought Robin was kind of cute.
[Dick looks bashful]
Bruce: (ahem) All right then! Mr. Howell, a pleasure to meet you. We’ll have to take a raincheck on that game of island golf. In the world of big business, networking always returns great dividends and I’m sure my stockholders would be delighted to know I’ve hit the links with the famous Thurston Howell III.
Howell: Yes, yes, of course. But I do want to pick your brain later, Bruce. Hear all about this Wayne Foundation of yours. Must save a mint on taxes!
Bruce, solemnly: The aim of the Wayne Foundation is one of philanthropy, Mr. Howell. We owe this magnificent country of ours a great deal and it is our duty as successful businessmen to pay our fair share of taxes and to give back in any other ways that we can.
Howell: Heh heh, of course. [under his breath] —a real Boy Scout, this one — [normal voice, jovially] But that enormous tax write-off certainly doesn’t hurt!
Bruce, ignoring this: All right Dick, let’s go!
[...and so on. The villain can be, I dunno, “The Headhunter,” played by someone absurd, like Dick Shawn. Or Stanley Adams, who actually did play a comical headhunter in the last episode.]