Hot Toddy Is On The Ball (Part One)

[Gorshin Romero]

Hi Everybody. Since all of you have been so kind with my first piece of fan fiction here on the Batman Message Board, I've written a new script with a new villain to challenge our heroes. This new villain is The Todster, a.k.a. "Hot Toddy"---Evil Bartending Genius. I picture Steve Buscemi as the Special Guest Villain of my story. If anyone has any suggestions as to who may have played the evil bartending genius during the initial run of the series, I am interested in hearing them...and of course, any feedback (positive or negative) that anybody here wishes to give me, well, I welcome that also. Thanks for reading, everybody! Enjoy Part 1.

Hot Toddy Is On The Ball (Part One)

Scene 1. Exterior. Night time in front of the Upscale Chez Gotham Restaurant.

Announcer (V.O.)
A typical quiet evening in Gotham City, where inside the Upscale Chez Gotham Restaurant, a celebration is occurring.

Scene 2. Interior of the restaurant, where several guests are eating and chatting. The entire staff is dressed to the nines in tuxes and formalwear. Behind the bar, an attractive young lady named Danielle speaks with the maitre’d.

Danielle
Tips are good tonight. We’ve had a generous group of people, especially considering Christmas is over.

Maitre’d
But of course, Danielle. The Upscale Chez Gotham Restaurant is famous for the discriminating tastes of our staff as well as that of our clients. Only the classiest people are welcome here, the crème de le crème, and that includes BOTH staff members as well as customers.

Enter the TODSTER, aka “HOT TODDY” and his group of thuggish BOUNCERS : J.D., V.O, & PBR. They are accompanied by a pretty but gaudy redheaded woman named Sherry. The Todster dresses like a staff member at T.G.I.Fridays. He has on a fake red derby hat and wears a garter on one sleeve. The gang approaches Danielle and the Maitre’d.

Hot Toddy
Well HELLO Toots! Plop down four bottles of your best champagne on the bar; we’re celebrating.

Maitre’d
Sir, it is my duty to inform you that we have a dress code here at the Upscale Chez Gotham Restaurant. You and your band of hooligans will have to find another place to engage in your adolescent revelry.

Hot Toddy
Is that right? Hey Toots, there’s a big tip in this for you if you’ll take care of us. Four bottles of your best champagne, please. Line’em up on the bar NOW!

Danielle
My name is Danielle, it is NOT TOOTS!

Maitre’d
If you gaudy hooligans don’t leave immediately, I’m going to call security.

Hot Toddy
You do that, Big Cheese. Go ahead. In the meantime, my crew of bouncers and I will be enjoying the company of Danielle here while she serves us four bottles of your best champagne.

Maitre’d
We’ll soon see about that!

The Maitre’d exits. Hot Toddy pulls out a wad of twenty dollar bills and flashes it in front of Danielle.

Hot Toddy
Okay Danielle, now that the Big Cheese is gone, how would you like to earn that wonderful tip? You can get it if you just put four unopened bottles of your best champagne on the bar.

He tempts her by waving the roll of twenties in front of her.

Danielle
Well, I do work for tips…okay.

Danielle puts four bottles of champagne on the bar. Hot Toddy and his bouncers each grab one bottle as the Maitre’d returns with TWO SECURITY GUARDS.

Hot Toddy
Greetings good patrons of this fine establishment! I am the Todster, Evil Bartending Genius! Friends call me Hot Toddy, but seeing as how none of you are friends of mine, you people are to address me as The Todster. It is my duty to inform you all that this is a stickup. Put all of your jewelry and cash into the bag held by my assistant, the lovely Sherry; she will be coming to each of your tables to collect. Please do not irritate my bouncers, J.D., V.O., and PBR. Trust me, they don’t respond well to resistance.

Maitre’d
There they are! Guards, get rid of these hooligans at once!

Hot Toddy
Oh look, everybody, we have security guards here just in time for the celebration! Bouncers, we know what to do!

The four of them shake up the bottles of champagne. Corks fly and hit the two guards and maitre’d in the head, knocking them out. Champagne shoots all over the customers amidst SCREAMS & SHOUTS. The Todster and his crew raucously laugh at the mayhem as does Sherry.

Sherry
I got it all, Hot Toddy! Golly these people sure are generous!

Hot Toddy
Gotham City is loaded with generous folks, they just don’t know it yet. All right everybody, stay where you all are and don’t make any attempts to follow us! I really don’t think you’d want to run afoul of my bouncers. All right, let’s get out of here!

Danielle
Hey wait a minute! You were supposed to give me a big tip! Where is it!?

Hot Toddy
Forgive me, Danielle, I forgot. Here’s your tip: Full Pardon in the fourth! HA!

The villains all laugh at this bad joke as they rush out the door.

Batspin. Scene 3. Interior of Commissioner Gordon’s Office. Chief O’Hara stands by while Commissioner Gordon is on the phone.

Gordon
I understand, Bonnie. We’ll get right on it.

He hangs up the phone.

O’Hara
Was that conversation what I think it was about, Commissioner?

Gordon
Apparently the Todster, a.k.a. “Hot Toddy” is bent on looting the fine dining establishments of our fair city. No restaurant will be safe while this fiend is on the loose.

O’Hara
All is not lost, Commissioner. There’s only one duo that can put a stop to such a nefarious plan.

Both look at the BAT PHONE. Commissioner Gordon picks up the bat phone.

Scene 4. Interior of Bruce Wayne’s Study. Alfred the Butler is dusting and hears the phone BEEPING and picks it up.

Alfred
I’ll call him, Sir.

Scene 5. Interior of the parlor where BRUCE WAYNE, DICK GRAYSON, and AUNT HARRIET are sitting. Aunt Harriet has a BROCHURE in her hand.

Aunt Harriet
Boys, what do you think we should do for New Year’s Eve this year? It’s almost here.

Bruce
Was there something specific you wanted to do, Aunt Harriet?

Aunt Harriet
This ad for the Top Hat Restaurant promises an evening of fun, frolic, and good cheer. They’re going to have a live band and champagne at midnight.

Dick
The Top Hat Restaurant? Isn’t that the one that got robbed last New Year’s Eve?

Aunt Harriet
Indeed it is, but they promise to have extra security on hand this year.

Alfred enters the room and overhears this conversation.

Alfred
Excuse me, Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt your plans for New Year’s Eve, but a small matter occurred in the study, and I think you’ll want to resolve it before the year is out.

Bruce
I understand, Alfred. Aunt Harriet, if you’ll excuse me and Dick, we need to take care of something.

Aunt Harriet
Okay but remember, don’t keep me waiting until next year.

Scene 6. Bruce Wayne’s study which leads to an intercut phone call with Commissioner Gordon in his office.

Bruce
Yes, Commissioner.

Gordon
Disturbing news, Batman. It seems that that evil bartending genius, the Todster, is back to his old tricks again after laying low for almost a year.

Bruce
We’re on our way, Commissioner.

He hangs up the phone.

Bruce
To the bat poles, Dick.

Batspin to the opening credits.

Scene 7. Interior of the Bat Cave. Batman and Robin slide down the bat poles and rush to the batmobile, buckling their safety belts and zooming out of the batcave.

Scene 8. Exterior of the batmobile as it passes by the sign reading Gotham City 14 Miles.

Scene 9. Exterior of Police Headquarters. The batmobile pulls up. Batman & Robin exit the batmobile and go up the steps to the building.

Scene 10. Interior of Commissioner Gordon’s Office.

Batman
So the Todster has declared open season on all of Gotham City’s restaurants.

Gordon
Last night the Todster and his bouncers hit the Upscale Chez Gotham Restaurant. There’s no telling where he may hit next.

Batman
There are many fine dining establishments within the boundaries of Gotham City, Commissioner. They are all potential targets for this fiend. This vile villain made a name for himself last New Year’s Eve when he was tending bar and got everyone drunk during the celebrations at the Top Hat Restaurant. After the people were incapacitated with drink, the Todster and his gang of bouncers robbed everybody in the building just before midnight. He wanted to commit the last major crime of the year, and he succeeded.

Robin
Holy Wet Blanket! Only a dastardly fiend like the Todster could take a wholesome holiday like New Year’s Eve and turn it into a night of alcohol-fueled revelry.

Gordon
I don’t get it, Batman. We’re not dealing with the Penguin or the Riddler here. The Todster’s just a bartender.

Batman
Evil Bartending Genius, Commissioner. Apparently the Todster holds a Master’s Degree in Communications from an accredited Ivy League University. Unfortunately, he was never able to get a job in his field, so at first he turned to bartending to pay off his student loans. He was actually quite good at it, but he found the work tedious, especially when it came to frugal customers tipping him ten percent or less for his services, thinking they were being generous to him. He eventually befriended his bouncers and barmaid and then turned to a life of crime, which he found to be much more lucrative.

Robin
Holy Student Loan Debt! It’s a shame he didn’t use his genius for good.

O’Hara
Sure and it is.

Batman
Student debt is often daunting to college graduates, but it’s no excuse for a life of crime. I propose we keep our eyes open for this evil bartending genius. There’s no telling where he may strike next. Commissioner, Robin and I will head back to the bat cave. We’re going to search for all the high end restaurants in Gotham City and keep an eye on them. The Todster and his bouncers are bound to turn up at some point.

Batspin. Scene 11. Interior of the Todster’s hideout, an abandoned restaurant at the top of a tall building. The gang is plotting their next crime.

J.D.
Hey Boss, we made out like bandits yesterday.

V.O.
I think I’m actually developing a taste for the finer things in life.

PBR
So what’s next, Boss? How about an exclusive surf and turf restaurant? I’ve always gone well with steak and lobster.

Hot Toddy
PBR, I’ve always enjoyed your company whenever dining on steak and lobster.

Sherry
That’s right, Hot Toddikens! We got class!

V.O.
I’m gettin’ hungry, Boss.

Hot Toddy
That’s right, V.O. It’s almost lunchtime, isn’t it? J.D., it’s your turn. Where do you think we should go for lunch?

J.D.
I got a craving for hot and spicy chicken wings; how about we go to Racker’s Island Bar & Grill?

Hot Toddy
Excellent choice, J.D. Racker’s Island it is!

Sherry
Hold it, Hot Toddy! That’s the restaurant that has all those pretty waitresses dressed in scanty shorts and tank tops, isn’t it? I don’t wanna’ go there! I wanna’ go to a classy joint!

Hot Toddy
But Sherry, my dear, Racker’s Island Bar and Grill is in a class all by itself! Besides, J.D. has given me an ingenious idea!

J.D
I did?

Hot Toddy
Crew, I need you all to take your hangover prevention tonic at this time; we’re going to need it. Sherry, go grab our tonic from the shelf.

She grabs the tonic and five shot glasses, filling each one with the tonic.

Hot Toddy
I’ll fill you all in on the game plan shortly. Bottoms UP!

Batspin. Scene 12. Interior of the Bat Cave. Batman and Robin stand at the Bat Computer which now has a sign on it reading, Gotham City Restaurants Listing.

Robin
Holy Food & Beverage, Batman! Gotham City has enough restaurants to satisfy anybody’s tastes! How can we know which one the Todster and his bouncers will hit next?

Batman
We may not be able to know where they will hit next, Old Chum, but I think that there is more to this villain than simple strong arm robberies.

Robin
How do you mean, Batman?

Batman
Remember, Robin, the Todster thinks of himself as an evil bartending genius. Strong arm robberies, while lucrative, do not have the pizazz that a super criminal like the Todster wants; that’s why he pulled that caper at the Top Hat last New Year’s Eve.

Robin
So what do you think he’ll do next?

Batman
Evil geniuses like to outdo themselves, Robin. Seeing as how this New Year’s Eve is quickly approaching, I have no doubt that the Todster will have something much more dastardly planned for his final crime of this year.

Batspin. Scene 13. Exterior establishing shot of Racker’s Island Bar and Grill.

Scene 14. Interior of Racker’s Island Restaurant. The lunch crowd is there, mostly men. The waitresses are very pretty young college coed types. The Todster and his crew enter and approach the bar.

Joey
Hi, I’m your Rackette, Josephine but you can call me Joey; what can I get for you?

Hot Toddy
I have good news for you, my dear. Your shift is over, you can relax now. My crew and I are going to take you away from all of this.

Joey
Promises Promises. What can I get for you?

Hot Toddy
J.D.

J.D.
Yeah, boss?

Hot Toddy
J.D., this young lady is Joey. Isn’t she…bodacious? I think it only fitting that you do the honors.

J.D.
Right, Boss. Hey Joey, check this out.

Joey looks to see that J.D. has what appears to be a gas canister.

Joey
Hey, what is that?

J.D.
Well Joey, it’s not a cure for a hangover, but you’re going to need that once you get a load of this.

J.D. gasses Joey, who grabs her head and gets very nauseous.

Joey
Ohhh, what did you do to me? I feel like I’m…hung over.

Hot Toddy
You are hungover, my dear. The gas has that effect on people—it gives them the hangover without all the fun of getting one in the first place. A bad deal for you, I’m afraid, but a necessary tactic just the same.

Joey
I think I’m gonna’ be sick.

Hot Toddy
Give this bodacious young lady some room, my friends. She’s going to get the dry heaves in a moment and she’ll want some privacy. Sherry, help Joey out from behind the bar.

Sherry
You got it, Hot Toddy! Come on sweetie, let’s go.

As Sherry escorts Joey out of the restaurant, Hot Toddy calls out to her and waves goodbye.

Hot Toddy
Joey! Ta Ta! Okay, that’s my cue to get behind the bar. Bouncers, you know what to do. Take your positions.

The bouncers take their positions throughout the other three corners of the restaurant. Hot Toddy is behind the bar taking drink orders, when two Rackettes, Cassie and Vernice, approach him.

Cassie
Hey, who are you?

Vernice
Yeah, where’s Joey?

Hot Toddy
Joey? Oh, uh, she decided to go out back and play a few rounds of sand volleyball.

Vernice
There’s something fishy about all this. The sand volleyball court is closed for remodeling; it’s under construction. Besides, only certified Rackettes are allowed to work here. No men! Period!

Cassie
That’s right, the only men allowed in here are the customers.

Hot Toddy
Well now, that sounds rather discriminatory to me, but then again I’ve always been a man of discriminating tastes. So give me your drink orders so you can be on your merry way and make those big tips from all the gullible fools who think that they’re going to get your phone numbers before they leave here today.

Vernice
Hey Cassie, this guy’s really on the ball! I think I like this guy. My name is Vernice, what’s yours?

Hot Toddy
I am the Todster, evil bartending genius. However, you two lovely ladies may call me: Hot Toddy!

Cassie
Ohhh, I like this new bartender.

Hot Toddy
Bartender!? Young lady I am more than a bartender, but you will see that shortly. Now give me your drink orders.

Cut to Commissioner Gordon & Chief O’Hara entering the restaurant. PBR immediately notices them and gets a nervous look on his face.

Gordon
Chief O’Hara, I’m glad you suggested this place. I haven’t been to Racker’s Island Bar & Grill for lunch in I don’t know how long. This was a marvelous idea.

O’Hara
Sure and it is, Commissioner. I haven’t been here for lunch since I was a rookie. In fact, our own little stroll over here reminded me of me younger days walkin’ the beat. It will be refreshing to have one of the lovely Rackettes servin’ us today. In fact, I’m sure our food will taste that much better because a Rackette will be takin’ our order.

PBR
Uh oh, we’ve got trouble. I’d better let the boss know.

PBR approaches the Todster at the bar.

Hot Toddy
What are you doing here? It’s not time yet, why did you leave your post?

PBR
I just noticed that old guy and the cop walk in here. Maybe we should cut out of here.
The Todster sees Gordon and O’Hara sitting at the table, and he grins wickedly.

Hot Toddy
No, no, PBR. This is going to be especially enjoyable. Go on over there and wait on them. Give them that blue ribbon service that you’re famous for. Then when I give the signal, we’ll let everyone have it!

PBR
You got it, Boss!

Commissioner Gordon & Chief O’Hara are visibly annoyed.

Gordon
This is pathetic, Chief O’Hara. No acknowledgement, no greetings, no introductions, not even a glass of water!

O’Hara
Aye Commissioner. The service here was always prompt and friendly. I wonder what’s changed.

PBR approaches them, greeting them in a very wooden manner.

PBR
Hello Gentlemen. I will be your server today. Name yer poison!

Gordon
You’re not a Rackette! And what kind of way is that to greet your customers?

PBR
It’s a new concept! Racked Guys! It’s all a part of the equal opportunity…thing.

Gordon
Equal opportunity my foot! There’s no need for a man to work in a place like this!

O’Hara
Sure and there isn’t. Why don’t you go find yerself a real job that a real man would do? Yer doin’ women’s wark, Mister! The most you could be in a place like this is the cook.

Gordon
You won’t be getting much of a tip from us, so you might as well have one of the lovely Rackettes wait on us instead.

PBR
Maybe you’d like to talk to my boss.

O’Hara
In fact, we just might.

PBR
Okay. Hey Boss! These two are causing me some grief over here. Whaddya’ think we should do about it?

Hot Toddy
I suppose now is as good a time as any, PBR. Thanks for the heads up.

The Todster gets on the HOUSE MICROPHONE.

Hot Toddy
Now hear this! Now hear this! Racker’s Island is now under the control of me, the evil bartending genius known as the Todster, a.k.a. “Hot Toddy” to my friends. Patrons and Rackettes, you are all about to have a very bad hangover! Let’em have it, men!

Hot Toddy and his bouncers shoot off the gas canisters, causing everybody in the restaurant except for them and Chief O’Hara to get very sick with hangovers. While the other patrons are being robbed, Chief O’Hara discreetly sneaks out of Racker’s Island with Commissioner Gordon.

Scene 15. Exterior Parking Lot of Racker’s Island. Chief O’Hara helps Commissioner Gordon walk away.

O’Hara
Saints presarve us, the Todster has taken over Racker’s Island! Heaven knows what kind of establishment he’ll be turnin’ it into!

Batspin. Scene 16. Interior of Commissioner Gordon’s office. Batman and Robin are there along with Commissioner Gordon, who has his head between his legs and an ice pack on his head. Chief O’Hara has a LARGE GLASS of something in his hand.

Robin
Holy Hangover! What exactly do you think was in that gas?

Gordon
Boy Wonder, please! Not so loud.

Batman
Apparently, that evil bartending genius knows a few things about how to induce a hangover, and how to prevent one.

Gordon
Forgive me, Caped Crusaders, but I haven’t felt this bad since my early days in the police academy.

O’Hara
Here you go, Commissioner. Drink this.

Gordon
Quietly, Chief O’Hara…what is it?

O’Hara
It’s a surefire cure for hangovers; it’s me great-grandmother’s own recipe—warks every time!

Commissioner Gordon drinks the concoction and makes a disgusted face.

Gordon
Oh Chief O’Hara, that’s disgusting!

Batman
Perhaps it is, Commissioner, but bitter medicine is often the best remedy.

Commissioner Gordon forces it down.

O’Hara
Trust me, Commissioner, in a day or two you’ll be good as new.

Batman
It’s a good thing you were there, Chief O’Hara. Who knows what would have happened to the commissioner without you there to rescue him.

O’Hara
Just doin’ what was morally right, Batman. I’m only sorry I didn’t have me service revolver or me police radio or me police car when I was there. Lunchtime is considered off duty, ya’ know.

Robin
But there’s one thing I don’t understand: why didn’t the gas affect you, Chief O’Hara?

O’Hara
I’m an Irishman, Boy Wonder. We develop immunities to hangovers at an early age from our mothers’ milk.

Batman
Tolerance is a good thing in this case, Chief O’Hara. I’m sure your family would be proud.

Gordon
Indeed they would, Batman. But now what?

Batman
It’s our move now, but---

The phone RINGS, and Commissioner Gordon winces in pain.

Gordon
ANSWER THAT INFERNAL THING, CHIEF O’HARA!

O’Hara
Commissioner Gordon’s office, Chief O’Hara speakin’…really, Bonnie? Okay thanks. Turn on the television quick! The Todster’s on.

Chief O’Hara hangs up the phone as Batman turns on the office TELEVISION to reveal the Todster gloating.

Hot Toddy
Hello good people of Gotham City. I am the Todster, evil bartending genius, a.k.a. Hot Toddy. I just wanted to let you know that my bouncers and I have abducted the lovely Rackettes from Racker’s Island Bar and Grill. Without them, Racker’s Island is NOTHING! So, all gentlemen of Gotham City, if you want to see the lovely Rackettes returned safely to Racker’s Island, you will all scrounge up $1000,000 per Rackette! And just so you know I’m not bluffing, here are three of them. Go ahead ladies, tell your customers that this is all for real.

Vernice
Guys, you know you want to see us again. Raise that money and set us free.

Cassie
We’re being held prisoner here. I don’t know what I’ll do if I never get to serve hot wings again.

Joey
I ask you guys, can anybody else make your drinks as stiff as I do? Help me out here.

Hot Toddy
Okay Rackettes, step aside. You all heard it! Now let’s start getting that cash together before the year is out! I’ve got even bigger plans for New Year’s Eve! By the way, if the Caped Crusaders and the boobs of the Gotham City Police Department happen to be watching, here’s a piece of advice: You all made a new year’s resolution last year to capture me and my bouncers. Like so many other resolutions such as losing weight, making more money, and finding true love, your resolution to capture me has fallen by the wayside. However, my resolution to make more money, is quickly coming to fruition. So this year I suggest you all make resolutions that you can keep, such as paying me off! I want a total of $10,000,000 in cash for the safe return of all the Rackettes delivered to Racker’s Island at 11:45pm on New Year’s Eve tomorrow night! If that isn’t done, then one more crime will occur before the year is out! Ciao Babies!

O’Hara shuts off the television.

Gordon
The nerve of that bartender.

O’Hara
Evil Bartending Genius, Commissioner.

Gordon
Oh SHUTUP! Batman, what are we going to do?

Batman
I suggest we pack up $10,000,000 and deliver it to Racker’s Island to insure the safe return of the Rackettes. However, I also suggest that Robin and I be the ones to deliver it. Once the Todster takes the money, Robin and I will be there to pounce on that dastardly villain and put him away once and for all.

O’Hara
Batman, would you like me to post me men around Racker’s Island?

Batman
Thank you, Chief O’Hara, but this is a dangerous mission, and the lives of those young women are at stake. We should probably avoid bringing the Gotham City Police into this.

O’Hara
Sure and yer right, Batman. We’ll stay out of it.

Batspin. Scene 17. Interior. The Todster’s Hideout. The Todster flirts with Cassie and Vernice and Joey.

Hot Toddy
Like I said, ladies, call me Hot Toddy…I like the Rackettes.

Cassie
If you like us, then why don’t you let us go?

Vernice
Yeah! Besides, what makes you think we’d ever hang out with you!?

Joey
Yeah…I mean…you’re just a bartender.

Hot Toddy
Oh, and what, pray tell, are you!?

Joey
I’m a Rackette: the bodacious one.

Vernice
Yeah, we’re the famous Rackettes, and men dig us! We’re the reason Racker’s Island is such a big success! Nobody would come to Racker’s island if the Rackettes were to disappear.

Hot Toddy
While I don’t deny that, it seems that you lovely Rackettes don’t fully realize my potential.

Vernice
Do you actually think we’d go for your charming personality?

Cassie
Hey don’t worry, Hot Toddy. We can still be…friends. I don’t mind that you’re just a bartender.

Hot Toddy
Just a BARTENDER!? Was Louie Armstrong just a trumpet player!? Was Rembrandt just a painter? Was Cesar Romero just some JOKER!? No, ladies. I am the Todster, the evil bartending genius, and I’m going to stay that way. I will be a legend when you lovelies will be serving old men warm milk in a nursing home!

Sherry enters.

Sherry
Hey Hot Toddikens! What are you doing!? FLIRTING!?

Hot Toddy
With these brainless bimbos!? No my dear, not on your life! They have no appreciation for an evil genius such as myself.

Sherry
Don’t take it too hard, Hot Toddy. Most geniuses were never appreciated in their own time.

Hot Toddy perks up and smiles.

Hot Toddy
By Golly Sherry, you’re right!

Sherry
Yeah! Who needs them anyway?

Hot Toddy
We do, at least until New Year’s Eve.

Batspin. Scene 18. Interior of the Bat Cave as the batmobile pulls in and then rotates around on the spiral platform to face out again. Batman and Robin emerge to greet Alfred.

Alfred
Welcome back, gentlemen, I’ve been expecting you, and I have some good news.

Batman
We could use some good news about now, Alfred. What’s going on?

Alfred
I just got off the phone with Chief O’Hara. It seems that Commissioner Gordon is a bit…under the weather, shall we say?. Anyway, Chief O’Hara informs me that in response to that ghastly request from the evil bartending genius, $10,000,000 was raised in less than twenty minutes from all of the men who frequent Racker’s Island on a regular basis. Apparently the Rackettes have quite a loyal customer base.

Robin
Holy Fundraiser, Batman! That is good news!

Batman
Now all we need to do is make the delivery. Perhaps we should let the Todster know that you and I will be making this delivery to insure that the Rackettes are safely released.

Robin
But…won’t that make him suspicious?

Batman
Not as long as we assure our nemesis that no other law enforcement personnel will be around, and that we are simply doing this to insure the safety of the Rackettes. Alfred, call the local radio and television stations and have them broadcast that the ransom has been collected and will be delivered as requested to Racker’s Island on New Year’s Eve by Robin and myself. I have a plan.

Batspin. Scene 19. Interior of the Todster’s Hideout in the abandoned rotating restaurant at the top of the Gotham Crown Hotel. The three bouncers approach their boss & Sherry.

V.O.
Hey Boss, did you hear the news? It’s all over the radio and television.

Hot Toddy
What news? What’s going on?

PBR
The ransom money has been collected, and it’s gonna’ be delivered just like you asked on New Year’s Eve.

J.D.
There is one catch: Batman and Robin are gonna be the ones making the dropoff.

Hot Toddy
The Dynamic Duo? Why?

J.D.
They’re saying that they want to make sure the Rackettes make it out safely. It sounds kinda’ fishy to me, Boss, but they did promise to come alone without any coppers to back’em up.

Sherry
What’re we gonna’ do, Hot Toddy? This sounds like a trap!

Hot Toddy
A trap!? A-HAAA! Yes, a trap—for Batman & Robin!

PBR
This sounds like fun, boss. What’re we gonna’ do?

Hot Toddy
We’re going to commit the crime of the century on New Year’s Eve! We’re going to rid the world of the Dynamic Duo once and for all! PBR, I want you and the other bouncers to go to that sand volleyball court that’s under construction at Racker’s Island. I’ve got some plans for the Caped Crusaders and some instructions for you.

Batspin. Scene 20. Exterior of Racker’s Island Bar & Grill on New Year’s Eve. The batmobile pulls up. Batman and Robin emerge from the batmobile.

Scene 21. Interior of Racker’s Island. The villains wait. Hot Toddy has Joey with him and Sherry.

PBR
Here they come, Boss.

Hot Toddy
Okay good, go let’em in.

Joey
Are you trying to use me as bait for your evil scheme?

Hot Toddy
Bait? I prefer to think of you as insurance.

Joey
But why me?

Hot Toddy
To show you that I’m not just a bartender!

Batman and Robin enter the restaurant area carrying a brief case.

Batman
All right, Todster, we’re here. Let the Rackettes go.

Hot Toddy
Where’s the money? Show me the money.

Batman
You’ll get it when all of the Rackettes are safely out of here and with their adoring public.

Hot Toddy
How do I know you two aren’t trying to set me up for a trap?

Robin
We would never risk the lives of the Rackettes. Their customers wouldn’t like it.

Hot Toddy
I see. Tell me, did you two make any resolutions this year?

Batman
We resolve to get the Rackettes free.

Robin
And to eventually bring you to justice.

Robin pounds his fist into his hand.

Hot Toddy
You two disappoint me; you made that resolution last year, but, no worries. I made one too. I resolve to get rid of both of you once and for all! J.D.! V.O.! PBR! Get’em Bouncers! Tear them apart!

Hot Toddy laughs maniacally as the bouncers attack our heroes. A bat fight ensues between our heroes and the three bouncers.

Sherry
I can’t tell who’s winning.

Hot Toddy
We are, Sherry. Grab that brief case while the Caped Crusaders are distracted.

The bat fight continues. Sherry grabs the brief case and opens it in front of the Todster, to reveal all the money, much to his delight.

Hot Toddy
While they’re fighting, let’s make our way out to the sand volleyball court.

Joey
You can’t go back there! It’s still under construction. That’s a hard hat area.

Hot Toddy
I know it’s under construction. The bouncers actually made some improvements on it yesterday. Come on, Sherry! Let’s get out of here with Joey and hit the volleyball court.

The three of them rush outside while Batman and Robin win the bat fight against the bouncers.

Robin
I think that takes care of these hooligans, Batman.

Batman
Now let’s keep our resolution and bring their boss to justice.

Robin
Where did he disappear to?

Batman
They couldn’t have gotten too far.

The Dynamic Duo approach V.O.

Batman
If you don’t want extra charges of obstructing justice brought against you, you’d better tell us where your boss is hiding out.
V.O.
He’s hiding out in the sand volleyball court out back. He’s got a secret tunnel he escaped to. You’ll never catch him!

Robin
What’re we gonna’ do, Batman? Should we leave these hooligans alone?

Batman
They’re ineffective without their leader, Robin. Let’s go catch ourselves a bartender.

They exit out the back.

Scene 22. Exterior. The Sand Volleyball Court that is under construction. Batman & Robin cautiously look around. Suddenly SPOTLIGHTS shine on our heroes, blinding them both.

Robin
Batman! I can’t see!

Batman
He’s blinded us, Old Chum!

They both stumble around and fall into a shallow pit.

Hot Toddy
It’s almost that time, Caped Crusaders! Okay Sherry, aim the lights above their heads.

No longer blinded by the lights but still in the pit, Batman & Robin look around.

Robin
Where exactly are we?

Batman
I don’t know, Robin, somewhere on the volleyball court

Hot Toddy
You’re both in the pit, and as they say in volleyball, you’ve been set up!

The three bouncers emerge from the building

Robin
What’s he talking about?

Hot Toddy
Look above you, Boy Wonder.

Both Batman and Robin look up above their heads and out over the hole to see a net full of heavy rocks suspended above them by a rope.

Robin
Holy Hard Hat, Batman! That huge pile of rocks is suspended right over our heads!

Hot Toddy
Correct, Boy Wonder. Batman and Robin, this New Year’s Eve,you’re both going to get stoned! But not in the good way! Now, what does every sand volleyball court need? Oh yes, a fire. PBR, if you would please, do the honors. Ignite the rope. It will burn for a moment or two, and then the pile of stones will land on the both of you, thus making your deaths my first crime of the new year. The good news is, that you both have until next year to live. The bad news is, next year is only two minutes away. Sorry we can’t stick around to share the champagne, but we’ve got festivities to attend. As for you two, next year the new craze will be Batman & Robin---ON THE ROCKS! HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVIL!

Hot Toddy cackles maniacally.

Robin
Oh what a fiendishly fiendish FIEND!

The villains laugh raucously and wave goodbye as they take Joey with them.

Announcer (V.O.)
Oh what a fiendishly fiendish fiend INDEED, Boy Wonder! Has the Todster committed the crime of the century!? Are the Caped Crusaders really about to get stoned? Is THIS their Auld Lang Syne off? For the answers to these and other questions, tune in next time, assuming there is one…same bat time…same bat channel!

To Be Continued In Part 2: “The Todster’s Last Call”

[celestialhost]

Very good so far.

[elmrgraham]

Holy Excellent.I agree.

[elmrgraham]

By the way,for a future Batman Fan-Fic,how about The Catman and The Catwoman teaming up against The Dynamic Duo/Terrific Trio?Celestialhost or Gorshin Romero could write it.

[Roy Batty]

Another bodacaious episode, my one qualm is Gordon and O'Hara's behavior at the Racketts Bar & Grill. Dissapointment in the service is understandable, but , I don't see Gordon and O'Hara engaging in personal and sexist attacks. I suggest a small change in tone. (I think I'm ready for another round!)

[Model Builder]

Holy Shot Glasses! Gorshin Romero has done it again! Hot Toddy the Todster would have fit right in with all the other "guest villains" that Batman and Robin had to face whenever the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin and Catwoman were not in the picture.

You know, the last time I left a review for Gorshin Romero's work (for Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino,) I went on at length about all the post-1966 anachronisms that found their way into the story. I do not remember "chicken wings" (as we know them now) being served in 1966, much less in a specialty restaurant. And the casting of an actor born in 1957 to be The Todster would have also raised my eyebrows. But not this time. This time, I get it. And it allowed me to fully enjoy this story in the spirit in which it was written. It is the spirit of the original "Batman '66," with all the camp and satire.

It is for this reason why I will not be taking up the challenge to think of an actor from 1966 to portray the part of The Todster that was given to Steve Buscemi. I realize that it is not needed . . . .

I will be saving Part 2 for another day; probably one day during the week to give me something to look forward to.

Thanks again, Gorshin Romero.

[Gorshin Romero]

Modelbuilder writes: "Holy Shot Glasses!"

LOL I wish that I had thought of that when writing this! Thank you so much for your kind words. I look forward to your review of the exciting conclusion, and YES there is more to come!