SCRIPT: "The Sandman Cometh", first draft

[bat-rss]

Next month's TO THE BATPOLES podcast episode will look at Ellis St. Joseph's first draft of "The Sandman Cometh", complete with no Catwoman whatsoever! Check out the script, and comment here for possible inclusion in the episode. Will advise later on when we'll be recording, but will likely be around the end of October.

Read the Script

[robinboyblunderer]

Next month's TO THE BATPOLES podcast episode will look at Ellis St. Joseph's first draft of "The Sandman Cometh"

Good day!

Thanks for posting this. It would be fun to see the revised versions introducing Catwoman at some point if doable. I plan on sharing more organzied thoughts when I have the opportunity but had to respond asap when this was posted.

Iniital thoughts: Well written. Ellis nails the dialogue, from Batman and Robin, the villains and Gordon and O'Hara as well as the pacing (at least in the first half). And the lights off Batman's ears and the elevator climb are inspired...! I can see why they were cut but what a great concept! Most of all it feels like a 1966 Batman script, especially in comparison to recent other attempts that were wildy off, like the first Marsha and Rembrandt.

Most of the villains created for the show aren't very interesting but Sandman had potential with his gimmick for more than one episode. Swapping out the cigar makes sense for the children viewers, let alone not wanting Batman using a cigar on Sandman at the end..! Holy Unintentional Advocation for the usage of Nicotine!

Changing Spaghetti to a woman makes everything more sense, a widow being more vulnerable to Sandman than a man; though this could've been kept if Sleeping Beauty and him had been more developed throughout in my opinion. It feels late in the episode to have the marriage scheme though there is some witty dialogue between Sandman and his moll pre-ceremony.

But it just works better with the change. It's more interesting and we get that great scene in the filmed version of her showing off her former husbands and a bit of humanity from Sandman as he realizes he may actually be the prey in this relationship.

The second half feels off though, the compactor trap for Robin while dramatically written seems wrong for the villain's theme. While making Robin a sleepwalker over and oaver again and him snapping out of it and being their prisoner may have been repetitious it may have opened up some more interesting and witty lines and scenarios.

The Batman and Robin arrested and the antics with the police are where the script doesn't work for me, the episode drags and there's no real tension or excitment with the Dynamic Duo locked up.

That's it for now, more at another time.

Cheers

[Therin of Andor]

The Sandman really intrigued me as a kid, and the sudden and unexpected arrival of Catwoman. I knew Michael Rennie from many repeats of "Lost in Space", as the Keeper, and from his masterful turn in "The Day the Earth Stood Still". The episodes had some jokes that went way over my head as a kid, but in repeats I realised things like J Pauline Spaghetti being a pun-play on J Paul Getty.

On a trip to USA, I happened to see the elements I needed to customise a Sandman figure. I ended up doing him in Funko/Super 7 and Figures Toy Company/Mego scales!


Preparing for a 3.75" Sandman custom by Ian McLean, on Flickr

A spare Michael Rennie head from the Monstarz Klaatu and Gort "The Day the Earth Stood Still" twin pack, and the body of a Super 7 Nosferatu. I started thinking I would get some brown flocking material!


The Sandman Cometh by Ian McLean, on Flickr

And in 8" scale, using Battle-Ready Brick Tamland ("Anchorman") in Bob the Mexican's coat ("The Hateful Eight"). Sandman's furred hood on the gorgeous coat ended up becoming 8" Olga's Cossack hat!


8" Sandman and other Batman '66 villain customs by Ian McLean, on Flickr

Sandman's hospital scrubs and stethoscope were from a 7" "Three Stooges" Larry Fine (whose head and shorter torso were later used for Verdigris).

[BiffPow]

Brilliant work, Ian!

[robinboyblunderer]

Some more thoughts:

While I don't care for the police force turning against the Dynamic Duo plot the writing in this sequence is again well done and O'Hara's line about his "own foot" crack me up.

With the sleepwalker threat and the entire wide open nature of dreams, Sandman could've been as formidable a repeat villain as King Tut oh well.

I love the addition of Catwoman to this story though, one of my favorites actually as filmed with some interesting touches, particularly the police having an undercover agent in her gang (a first and last in teh series) as well as the whole return to a more menacing and playful Catwoman and the sense her lair isn't just a place for her to plot and luxuraite in but an area of menace and danger. Unique too that Robin ends up a prisoner as much as Mooney, no thought as to killing them but instead keeping them for futher torment.

It could also be that I'm simply used to the filmed show as is and so while interesting, reading other variations of scripts can be fun they remain in the shadow of what was filmed for better or worse.

Overall I can see how, per the Official Bat-Book by Joel Eisner this script was considered high quality. The story, aside from my issues in Part 2 flows along at a good pace. The Sandman's hideout-Sleeping Beauty billboard etc. is all nicely done. And yet I'm glad Catwoman was added in.

And perhaps too, it's good there wasn't a second Sandman episode, he could've gone the way of Egghead in Season 3.

I suppose this is a good point to mention Rennie's acting as Sandman. I think he nails the smug, new to Gotham, international criminal but there's a flatness to the performance as well that maybe precluded any further Sandman episodes if Rennie had even been willing.

Ah, I've strayed a bit from the focus which is the script, so I'll just stop here and say I appreciate you fellas taking the time to share this and for the most part, this is one of the better writen stories you've found to share, despite where I lost interest in it.

Cheers!

[Therin of Andor]

I love the addition of Catwoman to this story though, one of my favorites actually as filmed with some interesting touches, particularly the police having an undercover agent in her gang (a first and last in teh series) as well as the whole return to a more menacing and playful Catwoman and the sense her lair isn't just a place for her to plot and luxuraite in but an area of menace and danger.

Agreed. The eps played a little with the format that we had come to expect. Similarly, Catwoman turning up in the Ma Parker episode. Julie Newmar's contributions, even unbilled cameos, were highly valued.

[chrisbcritter]

You knew I'd chime in eventually, right?
Right now I'm comparing your copy (listed as "First Draft") dated May 25, 1966 with the one I got from Script City (listed as "Final") dated June 13, 1966. Both are nearly identical so far; one thing I notice is the first script has Sandman using a miniature camera to photograph J. Paul Spaghetti's financial records (as in the completed episode); the second one dropped that and he's just looking through the book.

Unfortunately it's almost 3:30 and I need some... sleep. More later.

[Jim Akin]

This is one I've really looked forward to, ever since reading in Joel Eisner's Batbook that the original, pre-Catwoman script, for which Robert Morley was slated to play Sandman, was a gothic masterpiece. I like it a lot, but at least at the draft stage there was considerable room for improvement.

Befitting a seasoned and successful scriptwriter (and surprisingly unlike some of the other draft scripts reviewed on To The Batpoles), Ellis St. Joseph clearly paid enough attention to the series to "get" the characters and tropes that made the show work. In fact, some of his scenes (the elevator-shaft batclimb, the trek to the skyscraper observation deck and its prominently labeled telescope) feel like pure celebrations of "Batman-ness" -- fun for their own sake but unnecessary to the plot. Sadly, that made them unlikely to have been shot, even with Season' 2's relatively leisurely production timelines and budgets.

Charles Hoffman's similarly fanciful additions -- the Batcomputer spewing pasta, Bruce and Dick camping out (notwithstanding its future importance to the podcast) were more practical, but to me they feel extraneous in a less-fun way than St. Joseph's best bits.

St. Joseph's script also included something I've enjoyed in some of Semple's drafts: Compelling language in the stage directions, presumably intended to engage the producers and make the script stand out. For instance, I grinned at the stage direction that followed Batman's warning to Robin, "Let's beware -- and be wary:"

Warily, they open the door.

Semple had similar business in some of his scripts but since he was "in the family," I'd wondered if they were atypical in-jokes for Dozier, Horwitz and co. Now I'm thinking they might just be marks of screenwriting flair.

As much as I liked the good stuff I was surprised, having read in the Batbook that Dozier gushed over it, how much didn't work for me in the draft:

• As Robinboyblunderer has noted, the end of the second episode is a rambling mess. I'd buy the business about Gordon and O'Hara being turned into sleepwalkers, but they should have shaken it off soon after Batman tied them up, just as Robin did. Jailing Batman and Robin and summoning Alfred for batwake (when they had utility belts with them!) were wastes of time. The big bank caper was a rather pedestrian crime; the wedding to Sleeping Beauty felt tacked on; and having P.J.'s butler treat the nuptials like business as usual after Sandman hogtied him rings false even by Gotham standards.

• The riddle Sandman asked Robin felt out of place -- or at least should have included a nod to the Riddler, since Sandman name-dropped other archcriminals when boasting in an earlier scene.

• The business about using the subway after the theft of the Batmobile was so dumb I figured it must have been a Hoffman gag. It would be fun to see Batman as a strap-hanger, barely noticed by fellow commuters and gallantly giving up his seat, but not when Robin's in danger. Of course, Hoffman doubled down on this idiocy in his revision by having Alfred transport Batman by bike rather than by limousine (or taking the Batcycle, as St. Joseph had it). When Robin's in trouble, Batman should show the grim urgency we saw in the Bookworm episodes.

I guess I'm in the minority about the addition of Catwoman to the script. I don't think her presence ruins anything, but I find the jousting between Catwoman and Sandman undercooked and unsatisfying. We saw Catwoman double-cross her henchman in The Purr-fect Crime, and it would have been fun to see her and Sandman in a real battle of wits. Their scenes together hinted at what might have been, but they mainly served as hand-offs from one villain to the other. Catwoman's guilty look when Batman asked about Robin was priceless, though, and her banter with Batman was pleasingly understated in comparison with dialog in some of Stanley Ralph Ross's scripts.

I'm not sure if they were Hoffman's changes or occurred in a later St. Joseph draft, but a couple of tweaks to the first draft were unquestionable improvements, IMHO: Replacing Sandman's sleeping-gas cigar with the stethoscope made a lot of sense. And I agree once again with Robinboyblunderer that gender-swapping P.J. Spaghetti to J. Pauline was a good idea. Setting up Sandman as a continental lothario makes sense (perhaps more so with Michael Rennie in the role than Morley, but it could have worked either way). The matrimony scam sets up one of the funniest bits in the show, Sandman's recognition of JPS's "merry widow" track record. That's Rennie's best comedic moment, IMO.

Other random thoughts:

• I love the comic book-like idea of a roomful of hideaway beds springing open like massive mousetraps to menace Batman and Robin. The scaled-down version they shot, with the gang emerging from a huge Murphy bed, was probably about as much as could have been managed in practice, but it's fun to imagine a production with the time and dollars to make the whole set piece happen.

• Their conception as sleepwalking zombies helps explain Nap and Snooze's cadaverous look, but not the Laurel-and-Hardy thing they have going on.

• Why change the Morpheus Mattress slogan from "Like Sleeping on a Cloud" to "Like Sleeping on a Zephyr"? Comedians note that certain words are funnier than others when choosing among synonyms; if that's what was going on here I think Hoffman must have had a tin ear. "Zephyr" is a funny-sounding word but not a particularly funny one, IMHO. Besides, sleeping on the wind doesn't make much sense. I wondered if there might have been some trademark issue, such as a real mattress maker touting cloudy slumber, but I didn't turn up any reference to one. Maybe just writerly ego making a change for change's sake?

• St. Joseph's unshot scene of Batman and Robin in jail and James Brolin's otherwise great portrayal of Reggie the rookie cop in the broadcast version reminded me of the SRR silliness of Captain Courageous in Catwoman Goes to College. I could have done without it -- and wish they'd used the time it took up to expand on the Sandman-Catwoman rivalry.

[robinboyblunderer]

Jim,

I really appreciate both your breakdown of the draft and how well written your assesment is...!

Good points about Batman on the subway and when he gets more intense when Robin's in danger. Sure, I think the Alf-Cycle is hilarious and I enjoy when he gets a larger role in an episod and the way Adam ducks his head is perfect comedic timing and stiff yet perfectly appropriate energy spent no more no less as Batman does but you raise a good point that had never occurred to me before.

Are we in the minority when it comes to Catwoman in this episode? I love her (and Kitty and Catty) being in the episode. Sure I can undersand more of a battle between her and Sandman but is anyone really upset at another Julie Newmar Catwoman episode with her in her prime? And if they are - I don't wanna know..!

Now that I think about it, too bad Catwoman didn't have a bigger role in the second part of Ma Parker, picture her in competition with Parker, rescuing Batman and Robin and working on their side for the episode before of course, Catwoman betrays them and flees before being captured. Could've been neat.

A few things I forgot to mention:

Batman's escape as filmed. Perhaps my favorite from the whole series as there's no bat-contrivance, no sudden citywide power outage, no singing nonsense sounds, as funny as it was to manipulate a piano punching device but him using the very weapon intended to kill him to free himself and using the utility belt as a tool in and of itself! Just perfect!

In an issue of Detective Comics written by Mike Barr and drawn by the incredible Alan Davis, Catwomandand the Joker put a millionaire and his son in a giant cat's cradle thinking they are Batman and Robin shortly before the real Dynamic Duo rescue them.

Do you think the cat's cradle made by Catwoman, Kitty and Cathy was intended foreshadowing of a trap Mooney and later Robin would've been placed in? I like the maze and I like how she basically taunts them as being her prisoners, certainly quite a dire and mocking end for Robin but it did seem a little diffeerent for her. I guess maybe the idea as the narrator says, it's a maze like those used on mice, and Mooney and Robin are her prey. I like it and it's different for the show but who knows if something else had been intended?

Jim said: "Catwoman's guilty look when Batman asked about Robin was priceless, though, and her banter with Batman was pleasingly understated in comparison with dialog in some of Stanley Ralph Ross's scripts"

Yes a very well acted and as you point out, understated. SRR is a talented writer but it's refreshing to ahve someone else write Catwoman so I'm glad you brought this up!

Finally, Ellis St. Joseph wrote quite a good script overall, even with where I think it went a bit off in Part 2 and I'm sorry he was possibly (?) disappointed that it was so drastically changed. Heck, he even created a new Batman villain that has a good and unique concept even if this is his only episode.

Cheers

[chrisbcritter]

A few more random thoughts:

I never got the reference to "Sleeping Pawn" in the end crawl of the first episode - until I read this script and in scene 45 it mentioned "Sleeping Faun"; Googled that and found it referred to a statue of a sleeping youth carved in 1870 by American sculptress Harriet Goodhue Hosmer. So it was a little play on words that passed over my six-year-old head.

Nap and Snooze as originally conceived and described are similar to the somnambulist character in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari which IIRC Ellis St. Joseph said was an influence on his script. Not surprisingly, their scary-looking appearances were changed more to your standard issue humorous henchmen.

Difference #2: Scene 39 in the first draft, Sandman says "I'll be the second-richest crook in the world! What am I saying? I'll be the richest!". In the final draft, he adds to that at the end: "Even richer than the Penguin!" (I never knew the Penguin was supposed to be wealthy?).

Both scripts describe Sandman as wearing a black monocle and being bald (depending on who played him). Add to that the constant "Ho! Ho! Ho!" laughter and big self-adoring ego, and it makes me wonder whether St. Joseph was thinking more along the lines of Otto Preminger rather than Robert Morley?

Difference #3: Scene 151 in the first draft ends with Commissioner Gordon on the phone: "(roars) Get me Police Headquarters". Final draft adds "Operator's Voice answers: 'You may dial that number direct.'" Sixties phone joke...

Finally, the character of Sleeping Beauty. Was she a somnambulist too, albeit a somewhat more self-aware one? Hard to say. The "vague" "Bye-bye, Robin" and "Bye-bye, Batman" make me wonder. What gets me, though, is scene 169, where things take a sour turn:

No other way to say it - Sandman's pimping out his own daughter after perhaps turning her into a sleepwalker. Nasty stuff (and one of the reasons for the rewrite?).

So I do like this script at least in some ways, but I'm happy with how it turned out in the end. And it gave me a lifelong appreciation for Michael Rennie.

P.S. Speaking of endings: If it ended like the first/final drafts with Sandman getting a dose from his own stethoscope, it certainly would have been fitting - and, it just so happens, exactly like the villain fish(!) Croaker ended up in the Space Ghost episode "Space Sargasso" with a dose of his own purple sleep mist.

However... how about if at the end of "The Catwoman Goeth", B&R run over to the vat of noodles to find that Sandman... has drowned? Then J. Pauline wakes up and enters, and stammers, "It was an accident! I SWEAR it was an accident!"

[chrisbcritter]

Bat-rss, I just thought of something - did I give you a copy of the May 25 (oops) June 13, 1966 final St. Ellis draft? If not, PM me your email and and I'll send it.

[robinboyblunderer]

chrisbcritter wrote "No other way to say it - Sandman's pimping out his own daughter after perhaps turning her into a sleepwalker. Nasty stuff (and one of the reasons for the rewrite?)."

I could be wrong I think more likely this is a play on words on the concept of a father walking his bride down the aisle. I certainly hope it's Sandman being witty, not to be taken literally. Otherwise yes, incredibly disturbing and much too dark for Batman '66.

Cheers

[robinboyblunderer]

---After some time, I figure unless Ellis St. Joseph and whomever connected to Batman were some disgusting perverts, Sleeping Beauty was never intended to be perceived as Sandman's daughter and the line was meant to be funny.

---And speaking of funny, for the first time I caught a bit of subtle Michael Rennie in action, in the teaser of Part 1 as he walks away from Catwoman he knocks into or nearly knocks into that giant ball of yarn and gives it 'what the heck?!?' reaction, it's in the background and I never noticed it before, but another charming, funny moment from the actor. Also shows how out of his element he is when he enters her lair, how everyone is really save of course, Batman.

Cheers

[chrisbcritter]

Point taken. Six of one, half a dozen of the other; the way Sleeping Beauty's character is written it's hard to tell if she's in on the scheme or just another sleepwalker. If she was in on the plot, then it's just a father-daughter con game. It is worth mentioning that Sandman would have better access to the Spaghetti fortune if he were related by marriage (and look more legit in the public eye).

Nap and Snooze - Trying to picture them makes me think of twin Lurches in tights

The gadgets in Sandman's coat in the final version are a leftover from the original script, but pop beads and helicopter spin toys don't make a whole lot of sense...

Note also Robin's actions while asleep were simplified a bit - no "Yes, Master" or letting himself get tied up; probably not really necessary. And Batman getting knocked out in the fight instead of getting gassed works a bit better, since he's just getting stuck under the stitching machine rather than being enslaved.

Wonder what more could have been done with Sandman? Maybe make him the purveyor of sleeping gas to Gotham City's criminal element - especially the Penguin ("Nap, Snooze - load another ten umbrellas, and I'll get Riddler straightened out on that 'Can A - Can B' thing") and maybe try to steal the formula for Bat-Gas?

[bat-rss]

Paul and I are both pressed for time, but we're planning to at least record part of this episode on Thursday morning, Nov 2, US time. Glad to see we have so many comments this time!